The "WIIFM" Principle of Love
This is what my LOVER say:
"Hey, baby, everybody's got a market value! Everybody wears a price tag." How pretty is she? How much prestige does he have? How blue is her blood? How much power does he wield? Are they rich, intelligent, nice? What can they do for me?Does this sound ugly? Researchers tell us love is not really blind. Everybody—even the nicest people—has a touch of crass when it comes to choosing a long-term partner. It's no different than in the business world where everybody asks, "WIIFM?" What's in it for me?
I can hear some of you protesting, "No, love is pure and compassionate. It involves caring, altruism, communion, and selflessness. That's what love is all about." Yes, that's what love is all about when good people are truly in love. You've probably even met couples who are deeply devoted and would sacrifice everything for each other. Yes, this kind of selfless love that we all dream of having exists. But it comes later—much later. It comes only after you've made your partner fall in love with you.
If you want to make someone fall in love with you, researchers say, you must initially convince them they're getting a good deal. We may not be conscious of it but, science tells us, tried and true market principles apply to love relationships. Lovers unconsciously calculate the other person's comparable worth, the cost-benefit ratio of the relationship, the hidden costs, the maintenance fee, and the assumed depreciation. Then they ask themselves, "Is this the best offer I can get?" Everybody has a big scorecard locked away in their heart. And, in order to make people fall in love with you, you have to make them feel they're getting a very good deal.
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